Oh god, I’m writing this during Bake Off, so I guess no one will read it. But anyway. Just a quick update and a big thank you to everyone who gave me tips for surviving my week home-alone parenting. So far, it’s been a mixed bag, but I can confirm that we are both alive. Hurrah!
Daph was actually an angel for the first two nights, sleeping through from 6.30pm to 6.30am which she has never ever done before without a middle of the night feed. So that got me all cocky and thinking I was nailing it. It also got me shedloads of sleep, which was awesome. But then last night, it all went wrong. I’m blaming the weather. This hideous weather! I love the summer but why in the hell can we not just have 23-24 degrees and sunshine all summer long rather than rain for most of it, punctuated by this insanely humid and stuffy ordeal. It’s horrible. We’ve also seemingly bought the Hottest House in the World. It has no loft (the ceilings are open to the roof, which sounds weird but is kind of cool and quirky – I KNOW I need to do pictures of the damn house, coming soon I promise…). The lack of loft means all the bedrooms basically ARE the loft, and you know how hot lofts get in this kind of weather.
Poor Daph’s room is about 32 degrees and there’s literally no way of cooling it down. I’ve looked into leaving frozen bottles of water in there but worried about the humidity from that making it even worse. The window is open, the blackout blinds have been down all day but it’s still a mini oven in there. Which means she’s been taking forever to go to sleep (she hates not having her sleeping bag on, but obviously she’s just in her nappy, and she’s also scared of the oscillating fan which sends her elephant mobile batshit crazy) and then last night she woke up at 11.30pm and screamed blue murder until 1am when she fell asleep on me. That was… sweaty.
I don’t suppose this is a very interesting tale really – all mothers are probably having the same issues. Compounding the situation though is the fact that she is now teething her first set of molars (they’re meant to come through at 14 months Daph, you precocious child!), and has simultaneously decided that Calpol and Nurofen are disgusting and there’s absolutely no way thank you very much she will take them: syringe, spoon, hiding it in Petit Filous, sucking it from my finger – NOT GOING TO HAPPEN MAMA.
So yeah. Today was tiring. I marvel as ever at Daph’s ability to scream and wonder what on earth my poor neighbours think – if I was them I would have been calling social services last night.
Another side effect of this lovely heatwave are the mosquitos. There are mosquitos in my garden thanks to next door’s stupid bloody water feature. Yesterday I actually caught one biting me and now my arm has swollen up to twice its size* – perhaps you’re not meant to interrupt them mid-meal. Either way, stupid neighbours, stupid heatwave and stupid water feature. *itches*
But onto more important things! What I really meant to say is that, thanks to pressure from my mum (who I suspect is just desperate to look after Daph) this Sunday I am now going to Edinburgh to see Oli’s show! And leaving the baby behind! EEEK.
When Oli first said he was doing the festival we did ruminate over me going up there for a couple of nights too, but I think if I’m honest we were both too lazy to think about the logistics. But the show’s been going really well and I’ve never been to Edinburgh before, which is pretty shameful at my age. And my mum seems very keen to have Daph overnight. And the other day I realised with a bit of a shock that she’s one now and I’ve never left her before – not for a single night. So perhaps it’s time to cut the apron strings a little. It’s pretty terrifying but the thought of two nights’ sleep in a row is unbelievably exciting. It’s kind of like going on a mini break! I suspect I will spend the entire time phoning my mum/trying to Facetime/whatsapping her bossy instructions but still. We might even get to have a grown up dinner out. Squeak!
*may be a slight exaggeration