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LIFE

LIFE

Oh so quiet…

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS ASLEEP. WHY DOESN’T SHE DO IT MORE. WHY WHY WHY *weeps*

Things that aren’t oh so quiet:

Daphne at 4.30 in the morning.

The sound of my current cough.

The cat deciding to join in as soon as it hears ANY KIND OF NOISE during the night.

Things that are oh so quiet:

This blog.

Yes, hello hello out there. I am sorry I have been neglecting you. The truth is, I’ve been working on something else, something a bit secret at the moment but that I hope to be able to reveal to you shortly (and no, it’s nothing to do with the novel, aren’t you relieved, FINALLY SHE’S STOPPED BANGING ON ABOUT THE NOVEL – although I am still working on that too – HA). But yes, new Secret Project (how annoying and wanky am I, you are welcome to hate me) has been taking up all my naptimes (Daph’s, not mine, although how I wish I could work while napping myself) and Life by Lotte has been left trailing in its wake.

Having said that, it feels like a bit of a natural time to wind down this blog anyway, actually. As I said in my last baby update, I don’t particularly want to chronicle Daph’s monthly developments forever more, especially not once she’s old enough to work out that I’m sharing all her personal info with a load of (very lovely, admittedly) strangers online. I’ll definitely be back for her 18 month baby update, but after that I think I’ll put LBL into a mini hibernation while I try to get the other project off the ground.

So yes, back soon, I promise, with more of my ramblings, but in a different guise. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it just as much as this one. That’s the plan anyway.

Laters alligators and may all your nights’ sleeps be restful and undisturbed, and may your mornings not start at 4.45am with a poo, as mine did today. Daphne’s poo, not mine, I hasten to add…

LIFE Midweek Musings

Midweek Musings: New skincare faves

Right, I promise today to not talk about babies or toddlers or anything mummy related. Instead, I thought I’d do a quick post on my two favourite things from my wonderful Liberty beauty advent calendar. And a quick note about that too: it was flipping expensive but really it was worth every penny, I LOVED opening it each day and best of all getting to try lots of different products that I would never normally even know about. So totally worth treating yourself if you can spare the dosh. This year, I think I’ll try the Lookfantastic one, as I’ve heard good things about that too, and it seems to have more make-up in it (the Liberty one was quite skincare heavy). But I’m getting ahead of myself…

There were some real gems in the Liberty advent calendar. And only a few duds – as I said on Twitter I’m fairly sure that Night Brow Balm is a solution looking for a problem, and as for the two tubes of mini toothpaste – fancy they may be but still, meh.

But there are two products I’ve repurchased – here they are and here’s why…

Eve Lom Cleanser

I know tons has been written about this already and it’s also a bit controversial because it has mineral oil (Vaseline to you and me) in it, but it’s literally THE BEST CLEANSER I HAVE EVER USED. It has truly transformed by skin. I was using Clinique’s Take The Day Off before and while it did the job it also dried my skin out quite a bit. But the Eve Lom stuff seems to both exfoliate and leave my skin super baby soft, not a hint of tightness or dryness. It also comes with the best muslin cloth I have ever used (if you don’t fancy the cleanser, maybe treat yourself to some of these instead – you can buy them in packs of three). Now, it’s ridiculously expensive, and I used the entire advent-calendar pot up before buying it as I wanted to be sure sure sure before I splashed out that kind of dough, but no regrets. It means I need less moisturiser after and I’ve also given up my Alpha H Liquid Gold (which was great but did freak me out a bit with the burning sensation) because it seems to exfoliate so beautifully I don’t need it. Hurrah. It’s a bit smelly (I quite like the smell myself, clove oil I think!) so it’s definitely worth testing before taking the plunge, but I’m a real convert and heartily recommend.

Malin + Goetz Vitamin E Moisturiser

This is a super boring looking bottle and a very underwhelming product to use. It has no discernible smell and the texture is quite thin. But it’s amazing! It leaves my skin soft and happy without being shiny at all (no need for loads of powder throughout the day) and it hasn’t clogged up my pores or broken me out. Also quite pricey, but another one I really recommend – it’s apparently great for sensitive skin too. A bit of an obscure brand (and I wish they could have put a BIT more effort into the packaging because it’s THIRTY NINE BLOODY QUID AND I WANT SOMETHING PRETTY FOR THAT) but totally worth checking out if you want something non-perfumed and kind to your skin that does the job.

Both of these are available at Space NK so I am sure you can get samples if you fancy testing them out. I also loved the Aurelia Refine & Polish Miracle Balm, but it’s just stupid money, and the Laura Mercier hydrating primer, which really does help your foundation stick around.

LIFE Midweek Musings

Midweek Musings: Belated Resolutions

Might as well, right?

I’m a bit of a grumpy cow when it comes to actually celebrating New Year’s Eve (as I’ve said before I’m allergic to organised fun), and this year was no exception. However, there’s definitely something to be said for feeling refreshed and coming to the year anew, rethinking all that’s gone before and deciding on some changes.

So, a little bit late I know, but here are my new year’s resolutions:

Lose some bloody weight

Now, I’m not the sort of person who really obsesses about their weight but that’s because up until about two years before I got pregnant I could eat whatever I liked and I really didn’t put any weight on. But then my metabolism changed completely, and suddenly I understood all the neuroticism surrounding food. When I was pregnant I decided it didn’t bloody matter what I weighed so long as the baby was growing (which she wasn’t – cue my excuse to eat even more). Then I gave birth and felt a bit horrified by my new figure, and worked a bit to get some of those maternal fat stores off. But then Daph decided to stop sleeping. And we moved house to somewhere where the car is needed to get to most places, meaning I don’t even get to go for long walks anymore. And then it got cold and then it was Christmas and I ATE ALL THE THINGS. And now I am about half a stone heavier than I was in the summer, and I actually feel gross. So yes, new year’s resolution no 1 is the most boring and predictable one of all but I must stop EATING ALL THE THINGS. Specifically, sugar. And get off my arse more. I’m back doing the XBX plan which I love (apart from the lateral bends which are bloody HORRID), and once the weather warms up, intend to start jogging again.

Stop spending so much money

I’m not terrible with money – I don’t really have any debt apart from my mortgage, but neither do I have a pension and I only save enough dosh each year to pay my tax bill in January. From next month I’ll be getting less income each month (long and complicated story, but some of my revenue from selling my business was deferred, and this comes to an end next month). So I need to stop buying things on a whim. I am a terrible whim-buyer – I see things I like and I buy them, without really thinking twice. Stupid stuff like coffees I don’t really need, a new umbrella because it’s prettier than my old one, another lipstick that’s identical to one I already own but a different brand etc etc. If frittering money away was an Olympic sport I’d ace it. So I’ve started a new budget – actually written down all my outgoings on a spreadsheet and given myself a fixed sum each month to spend on crap clothes, beauty etc. It’s not much but it should be enough to get by. Just to prove I’m down with the zeitgeist, I’m calling it Mindful Spending.

Read more books

I make this resolution every year. It’s pretty obvious. Stop pissing time away on Facebook at night and instead spend more time with my Kindle. Specifically I’d like to read some more classics, rather than just stuff that’s in the bestseller lists. I didn’t do English A Level (and I call myself a writer – shock horror!) and there are some serious gaps in my reading that I’d like to fill (Oli was disgusted to hear that I’d never read Wuthering Heights last week when we were watching the Bronte programme on BBC… *hangs head in shame*).

Sort out my career

Ah the biggie! I am trying, honestly. I have been totally lost in sleep-deprived motherhood career-wise and I have so many thoughts on it all that I’d love to clarify in my own mind (do I try to find a full-time job? set up another company? continue freelancing in an industry that inconsiderately decided to die on its arse while I was off having a baby? retrain as a librarian? (seriously, have been considering this!) if not then what what what?) and then share, but I don’t have time because, well, I’m a mother. So yes, more soon. Hopefully. Once Daph’s settled into the childminder!

LIFE

To sleep, perchance to dream… if bloody only

My beautiful little sleep thief

It’s 2017 folks! I’m feeling cautiously optimistic. Usually for new year I make a whole load of decisions about life and how I’m going to handle things going forward, and I start new projects and generally feel motivated to make changes. But this year I haven’t had the energy. Mostly, I have realised, this is because I am obsessed with Daphne’s sleep. Or more specifically, her lovely new habit: early rising.

It’s beyond ironic that you can dream for months of your baby sleeping through the night, believing that once that happens, everything will be fine and dandy and you will be reborn, back to your old self, fizzing with energy all day. HA. Daphne does indeed now sleep through the night, and it’s great. To a degree. However, the unwanted side effect of this is that she now thinks the day should start at around 5.20am. And there ain’t no getting her back to sleep after that time (we have tried EVERYTHING but unless we get up with her, she screams and screams).

Having my day start with a 5 basically makes me feel like I am permanently jetlagged. It is far more exhausting than being woken in the night. I would actually go back to a 2am wake up, if it meant that the day didn’t have to start till 7am, or even 7.30 (what a treat!). It’s been suggested that I should adjust my own sleep schedule to accommodate it (going to bed at 9pm or whatever – ugh) but I really do believe that biologically people are wired differently. I am a night owl, and my most alert and awake times are in the evening, after dinner – it’s the time I do most of my creative writing. Before I had a baby if I woke before 8, I’d feel pretty knackered for the day. My body clock just does not agree with super early mornings, and when they’re pitch dark and freezing, as the heating hasn’t even come on yet, then they’re even more hideous.

I won’t bore you any more with what I’ve been trying to sort this problem out until I find something that works. When I do, I’m going to patent that shit and market it to all the other sleep-deprived parents of toddlers and make my fortune. This morning she slept til 6am, so there is hope. I think. I pray. I am so jealous of people whose babies sleep from 7pm-7am every night. I am SO jealous. And I don’t get jealous.

Good things about 2017: Daphne starts at the childminder’s next week. I will have a whole day per week to myself to work. I need to finish my novel, and that really must take priority, but I also desperately want to get another project off the ground that’s been bugging me for nearly a year now, and also decide what on earth I am going to do with this blog. But like I said, before my brain can wrap its knackered matter around that little lot, I need to sort out this sleep thing. So please please please – wish me luck (and leave me any suggestions you think might work!)!

LIFE

Merry Christmas!

Awesome leggings from Blade & Rose, gift from my cousin.

When we did our NCT course, the lady running it asked everyone what they were most looking forward to about having a child, and I remember replying ‘I only had a child for Christmas’ which is a terribly glib and dickheadish thing to say but it was genuinely a major factor for me. I loved Christmas as a kid (yeah, really unusual there I know) and I couldn’t imagine growing old and not having a child to share all the joy and magic with (although I don’t believe in lying to kids about Father Christmas, but that’s a post for another day – Oli and I are already at war about it!). I have therefore been in my element over the past few days and am so excited that this year we are hosting my parents and my sister and having a big family Christmas day in our new house. We actually open all our presents on Christmas Eve, so really Christmas Eve is our Christmas Day, and this year on Christmas Day we’re heading off for lunch at Oli’s brother’s house. So we get two Christmasses!

Last year Daph was too tiny to have any idea what the hell was going on, so we didn’t really get her any presents, but this year we’ve gone a bit batshit and she has her very own personalised Christmas sack and about 30 stocking presents, plus a Mokee Teepee which I can’t wait to set up. She’s already had a few presents thanks to my aunt and uncle and has definitely got the idea that ripping wrapping paper from things is enormously fun, so I am sure she’s going to love opening everything. Whether or not she plays with any of the millions of carefully selected gifts is another matter, but I’ve realised that pretty much everything about having a baby is trial and error. Will report back…

Before then however, there’s a hell of a lot of prep to do and I really need to get off the computer and start cleaning. But just wanted to say merry Christmas to all of you who read this, and send all the mummies in particular lots of alcohol and sausage rolls to get you through the festive season! I’m going to have a little break from blogging until the new year (hands up who can’t wait to see the back of 2016?) and so I wish you all a very happy new year too!

And most of all a big THANK YOU for reading and commenting and stopping this working-from-home-sort-of-stay-at-home mum from losing my mind with loneliness. Mwah xxx